(Overlapping chatter from Team Obsidian as they file into the interview room and take a seat.)

Interviewer: Thank you guys so much for coming! People have been dying to hear about the fresh new X-rankers, so we're glad you replied to our squidmail.

Paruko: Of course! Thank you for having us!

Interviewer: (pulling out a clipboard) Alright! Cameras are rolling, so let's go ahead and get started. First of all, why don't you each of your names and your role in the team?

Paruko: Okay! Um, I'm Paruko! I'm one of the founders of Team Obsidian! I play offensive during turf, and the rest of the time I'm a morale officer, I guess! I just keep everyone passionate and hyped!

Ghost: I'm Ghost. I'm the other founder of the team. I switch between defense and offense depending on my weapon. But I'm usually a sniper.

Tyde: Hi! I'm Tyde, and I play defense in turf! I'm in charge of inking the base and stuff like that. Outside of turf, I'm in charge of our team's gear and style - I keep us fresh. I'm also the owner and sole designer of the latest hit fashion brand, Rip Current!

Mako: Name's Mako. In turf, I'm in charge of eliminating opponents before they get the chance to react, and outside of battle, I make sure nobody tries to screw with us.

Interviewer: (nodding) Okay, next question! This one's coming from Smallfry Snatcher in Splatsville: how and why did you start Team Obsidian?

Paruko: Oh! I got this one. Okay, so, me and Ghost are from the Octarian Army, right? I'm a good shot, so I was high in the ranks for my fighting skill, and Ghost is super smart. Thing was that a lot of Octolings in the army were real jerks to Ghost because she's blind and they thought she couldn't do anything useful, which is so wrong. But in any case, when DJ Octavio went to fight Agent 3 from the Squidbeak Splatoon, everyone left Ghost behind. I was late to get going because I got distracted, though, so when I saw Ghost alone in the barracks, I invited them to come with me.

Paruko: (continued) So we were together when we heard the Calamari Inkatation, and we stuck together when we decided to leave the Octarian Domes and find our way to the surface. We actually- heh, do you remember Kamabo Co.? They were all over the news a few years ago. So, turns out, when Ghost and I were making our way to Inkopolis, we very nearly fell into the Deepsea Metro - only reason we avoided it is because I got distracted by a cool jelly I saw in the tunnels and made us take a detour.

Ghost: For once Paruko's horrible attention span actually helped us out.

Paruko: Yeah! Anyway, so, we made it to the surface, obviously. Took us a couple months to get accustomed to inkling culture and get settled in - it wasn't hard to find an apartment, though, luckily. We started dating at some point during that time, I think? And then, during the Knights vs. Wizards Splatfest, we met Tyde! She was selling Rip Current clothing during the Splatfest. I started chatting with her while I was looking at her wares, and we ended up having a lot in common, so I invited her to turf with us.

Paruko: (continued) Cut to a few months later, and we're screaming together in voice chat and trauma-bonding over Trizookas. Tyde didn't have a lot of turf war experience, but she still wasn't a bad player, and together the three of us made a pretty good team. A few months after we met, the Final Fest took place. So that was, what, like five years ago? Wow, that's crazy to think about! We were on Team Chaos, but we actually ended up sticking around in Inkopolis for quite a while anyway. We only moved to Splatsville about a year ago, which is when we met Mako during a Grizzco shift! Once she joined, we had a complete team, and we decided to start aiming for X-rank. And the rest is history!

Interviewer: What a compelling story! Okay, next question, then. This one's coming from several of your fans! Ghost, how do you play turf so well, what with being blind and all?

Ghost: I don't need eyes to tell where my opponent is. I feel vibrations in ink to pinpoint their location.

Tyde: That's why my job of inking the ground is so important!

Interviewer: But how can you tell your opponents apart from your allies?

Ghost: I've memorized the way my team moves. Paruko is light on her feet and fast. Tyde moves slowly, and Mako stomps like a herd of elephants wherever she goes.

Interviewer: (scribbles note on clipboard and glances warily at Ghost) I... see. One more question for you, Ghost, coming from BooyahBack in Inkopolis! Your main weapons are listed as Undercover Brella, Goo Tuber, and h-3 Nozzlenose... all notoriously bad weapons. Why do you choose to use disadvantaged weapons like that?

Ghost: I don't like playing with training wheels. "Good" weapons like the Aerospray RG or the N-Zap '89 are too easy for me. I like a challenge.

Interviewer: But couldn't you play even better with a good weapon?

Ghost: Sure. But I'd also never learn or get better at turf if I always played with easy weapons.

Interviewer: If you say so. Um, okay, next question, from Squiggly Squid in Splatsville! What are your favorite idol groups, bands, and clothing brands?

Tyde: Ooh, ooh, me, me! Okay, um, so my favorite idol group is the Squid Sisters, but my favorite standalone idol is Marina from Off the Hook! And my favorite band is Diss-Pair, since I'm so normal about Warabi.

Mako: (scoffs) Yeah, right. She has a shrine taking up half her room for the guy. It's actually kinda concerning how obsessive she is.

Tyde: (ignoring Mako) And of course my favorite clothing brand is my own, Rip Current! But other than that, I'm a big fan of Forge and Toni Kensa! They've always had a huge influence on my style.

Mako: (standing up from her chair) My turn, because NONE of you have been letting me TALK. (she gives the rest of her team a pointed glare) MY favorite idol group is Deep Cut, because I'm a native Splatlandian and also they're awesome. My favorite idol is Frye. And my favorite band is Riot Act, because they rock and you can splat yourself if you disagree or I'll do it for you. And my favorite brand is Rockenburg. (she sits back down with a huff, crossing her arms)

Paruko: Sorry, Mako. We'll give you more chances to talk from now on.

Ghost: No we won't.

Mako: Don't MESS with me GHOST I could beat you in a 1v1 BLINDFOLDED and STILL beat you by a long shot!

Ghost: (flatly) I'm sure you could. Not like I've mopped the floor with you in every 1v1 we've ever played. And I was the only one "blindfolded" then.

Mako: (clenching her fists) YOU-

Paruko: (interrupting) ANYWAY, my turn! (she gives Mako a pointed look)

Mako: (sitting back down, crossing her arms, and glaring at Ghost (who pointedly ignores them)) FINE.

Paruko: Okay, so my favorite idol group is the Squid Sisters, my favorite idol is Callie, and my favorite band is the Chirpy Chips! I actually share a name with their lead singer - her name's Harmony, but in another language, it's Paruko! And my favorite gear brands are Annaki and Scallop.

Ghost: I like the Squid Sisters, too - Marie's my favorite. My favorite band is Hightide Era, and I like Toni Kensa gear.

Interviewer: Okay then. Um, alright, next question, coming from DrugFish in Splatsville: Mako, how many Grizzco points do you have?

Mako: (cracking her knuckles) I dunno. How many can you have?

Ghost: Nine million, nine-hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine-hundred and ninety-nine points.

Mako: A little bit over that, then.

Interviewer: (looking at Paruko) Is that true?

Paruko: (shrugs) Could be. Mako's pretty terrifying in Grizzco shifts. It's why we invited her to join the team.

Interviewer: (nervously glancing at Mako) Right. Okay. Uh. Moving on. Err, Tyde, ABagOfMilk in Inkopolis wants to know: how and why did you start Rip Current?

Tyde: Oh! Well, I've always loved fashion. Flow and Craymond practically raised me, I was in their shop so often. It was always my dream to own my own clothing brand one day. So, once I was old enough to start participating in turf war, I figured it was time to get started! Whenever I wasn't selling clothes or advertising the brand, I was making and designing fresh new fits. A while after I started the brand, I met Paruko and Ghost and joined Team Obsidian. Ever since we made X-rank, the publicity has really pushed Rip Current into the spotlight. And... the rest is history, I guess!

Interviewer: What an inspiring story! Okay, last question, coming from all of your fans from Inkopolis to Splatsville: what's next for Team Obsidian?

Mako: We keep kicking butt, that's what!

Tyde: Yeah! We haven't reached the top yet! There's nowhere to go but up!

Ghost: We've come so far. No point in stopping now.

Paruko: So watch out, Splatsville! We're coming for you!